The past couple of nights I've had odd dreams. Odd in a way that I've never really had any dreams that affected me like this. My dreams are usually like movies, very lifelike, but I'm extremely detached from them. The two dreams I've had lately, not so much. I don't know if it's my heightened emotional state right now, the combinations of stress and hormones - but I do know that I don't like have these dreams. Waking up crying isn't my cup of tea.
2008 pretty much started with the same kind of apathy that was so prevalent in 2007. I didn't care one way or another that it was New Years, in fact, we even missed when it WAS the new year. I view things with less importance than I ever have, and I hardly believe in holidays anymore. Perhaps that's pessimistic but I like to think I'm just apathetic. They don't matter at all because it's just the same day as last week, they only hold import because we make them that way in our minds. The power of the human mind to create by belief is amazing.
So no, no resolutions for the "new year", and no...Santa didn't get me anything for Christmas, either. But both of those are cool because it doesn't really matter. When do we need holidays to tell us to give things to people, when do we need a new year to make decisions to do this and that (when most of us never follow through)? We don't. We forge our own path, and I don't need consumerism to tell me what to do and when to do it. ; )
Lately I've been musing on the whole "Life's not fair" nonsense. I had recently watched Labyrinth over again in a David Bowie mood, and Sarah always says, "That's not fair!". Later on she recants her whines and in a self-musing moment says, "But life's not always fair."
...to which I reply, how much can life not be fair to you? Who decides where these cards fall? If life really wasn't fair in that movie, she wouldn't have succeeded. She would never have gotten past the door to the Labyrinth. Is it REALLY fair to kick someone when they're down so much that you kick them dead? Or that another person gets that wonderful and fair life? No, life isn't fair...but give us at least SOME fair in it, because otherwise...it's not life at all. It's hell, and you're pretty much a rotting corpse still walking around somehow.
