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a b o u t m e


My name is Anna.
I am 21.
I live in Ohio.
Muse.




c o n t a c t
email: trueslyth@gmail.com,
msn: verisimility@hotmail.com
twitter: asfridr, facebook,
deviantart: verisimility
c u r r e n t
Listening: Tokio Hotel
Watching: Heroes, Dexter, Supernatural,
Atlantis, Sarah Connor, True Blood
Reading: House of Night Series by PC & Kristin Cast





Monday, January 21, 2008
11:29 PM

It's been a long time since I've written, and I can't exactly say why...

I tend to lose interest in things after a while, I think it has to do with my Leo tendency to want everything I do or am involved in to have some sort of huge impact...some recognition of sorts. Like I need the approval and whatever of larger and larger amounts of people as time goes on.

I always cook up these huge schemes...things that are now on the back-burner...and I can't ever find the energy to bring them about. Is it because I'm afraid of failure? Of putting all my energy into something and have it come out to not be enough to feed my Leo ego? Perhaps.

But I'm finding the energy to write this blog right now, because...I want to. So I guess I can overcome my own ego, which is a very good thing to know.

I think I got the energy from being here alone in Jim's apartment for the first time. I don't want to be alone - I desperately want Mandy to be here...it's very lonely without her. I find she occupies most of my time. I don't know how that is...it's like when she's around I have no time to do anything, and when she's gone...well, I have nothing to do. She's it, she's my time...I spend everything on her, revolving around her. I like our relationship like that, it makes me feel secure.

Anyway, I'm here alone...I had nothing to do. So I took a shower, a nice long hot shower, and I scrubbed away all my stress and worries and the odd burning heavy feeling I've had in my chest all this time. I've felt like I can't breathe, lift a finger, do anything. And it's been really...just ugh. I've felt sluggish. But now after my shower, I kind of feel liberated. Oh, the sluggishness is still there...but there's also some energy, the energy I find just let me put some dirty clothes from the past day or so in the laundry (when before, they would have waited weeks), let me pick up things around the apartment, and it let me write this blog entry.

Maybe I will even find the energy to work on other things...le-morte.com, maybe? I don't know.

It's odd to be in this different apartment...but as I discussed with Mandy, since we've been here a couple days, it's starting to feel more homey. Probably because we're here...we're women, a couple...and we're make this bachelor pad fill with our warmth. I'm finally relaxing and I feel a bit like I'm sloughing off the toxins in my body. It's good.



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